This article wasn’t planned. It just came to existence as I have experienced a creative meltdown.
Have you ever felt like all your creativity comes crashing down at you and you just don’t know what to do with it nor how to direct it out of your system?
Well, I just felt like a volcano wants to erupt through paint, words, video material, sound, movement. I just don’t know where to start nor how to stop or direct it efficiently.
If you feel this or have ever felt that way, let’s just take a moment to breathe!
- Breathe all air out through your mouth.
- Breathe in slowly through your nose.
- Breathe out deeply through your mouth until there is nothing left in your lungs.
- Either breathe normally again OR start from 1.
Writing this article now feels liberating. I just want to continue pouring out my emotions through the words that I type. No structure needed. No thoughts. Just keep writing. And breathing.
Why did it come to this meltdown?
I had’t planned it. It suddenly emerged from deep within. The day had been great. I started a new art project, let’s call it NAP. Then I painted a commission which had me shook and in love with. Then I created several social media posts. Then I went back to the art project. Then I looked at the commission. I looked back at the other artwork. I felt torn. Where was the beauty in my NAP? The beauty in the commission was surely there. So I continued with the NAP. Already I could feel, something wasn’t going right. I tried to clean the layer. I added something else. In my eruption, I added more and more elements without patience nor thinking. Then I realised once I added the finish, that this finish would also cover the wet layer it wasn’t supposed to. Like I said, I didn’t think clearly.
Back to breathing.
Pressure kicks in. Pressure of this mega art project. Pressure of a completion time I set myself today. Pressure of expectations. Pressure of validation from myself and hence others who would get involved with the NAP at some point.
I am afraid I won’t be able to express this powerful energy of this artwork on canvas the way it deserves to be shown.
Back to breathing.
What to do about the pressure?
Sit with it. As uncomfortable as it may be. As teary as it may get. Stay seated. Feel through your body. Feel every body part of yourself. Start at the feet or the head and then slowly move in the oppositve direction. With every breath move to the next part. Locate the physical pressure. Where is it? How does it feel?
Mine is in my head, behind my eyes, in my ears, in my throat where my tonsils are, bronchial tubes, shoulder blades and my left hand palm. It feels icky. It feels tightening. It feels like a burden.
Why this honesty?
Practicing honesty with oneself helps to transmute the pressure. It needs to be said out loud. It needs to be acknowledged. It needs to be addressed. Otherwise ignorance will lead to much further damage of he physical, the emotional, mental and spiritual body. It will put cracks in the energy field. It will create energetic wounds. That’s why it is time to stop pressuring.
How can you ease pressure?
Feel into the reason why you have put pressure on yourself in the first place.
- Was it because of parents, siblings, friends, colleagues or neighbours?
- Was it because media told you how you should be?
- Was it because you feel worthless if you don’t show up to expectations of others?
- Was it because of any other life circumstance that has you on your toes?
Whatever it is, get to the base of it. Do not nourish the roots any longer. Either let it die naturally or extract it yourself.
You can do that by thanking everyone who has suported the growth of your roots. Thank them dearly to have played gardener so you can now learn about a new species of weed. This will help you in the future to identify that type in order to not let it grow again. Use loving force to take the roots out completely.
Now plant a seed of the most beautiful flower you can imagine. Give that flower your uttermost attention through
- looking in the mirror and telling yourself how valuable you and your creations are.
- literally watering it with activated natural spring water.
- fertilising it with little love messages you give yourself daily.
- being patient with the growth process.
- continuing to create whatever your heart feels called to.
- exposing it to your inner divine light by gazing into your eyes several minutes per day.
- regularly checking and weeding any disadvantageous pressuring emotions.
Then when the seedling shoots out, keep going, keep growing, keep creating until the flower blossoms in its beauty.
Thank yourself for your patience and willpower to creating a garden inside of you. With each new flower you plant, you create paradise for all of humanity. One seed at a time.